The Nicu rollercoaster

     Remember your first rollercoaster ride?  I imagine you felt they way I did, scared, nervous, and excited.  These feelings intensify as you slowly make the incline towards the top, knowing that a long drop, twist, and turns are up ahead.  Well, we have officially started the nicu rollercoaster ride.
     When we got to the hospital on Saturday, we noticed he was not feeling well at all.  He had been spitting up and his vitals were lower than normal.  The doc said she thinks he might have an infection and was going to start antibiotics and take him off his feed. 
     A short while later, I got up to do something and I noticed his vitals were dropping quickly, I was scared out of my mind and I couldn't say anything.  I just looked at Craig and he knew immediately something was wrong.  The nurse called the rapid response team and within a few seconds there were  several people around Riley.  Craig and I moved off into a corner, but I was very scared and I couldn't stay there.  We went into the wash room and he held me and we prayed.  I calmed down a little and we walked back in the nicu but stood at the entrance so Craig could watch what was happening and I could sit down.  One of the nurses brought me some tissue and we just prayed.  They worked on him for what seemed like forever.  Our nurse that day came to update us at one point saying they got his heartrate back up and they were still working on him.  This was a little bit of a relief as I had never seen his heartrate that low.
     Finally, the doctor came to update us.  He grabbed a chair and sat down with us.  He said that Riley most likely has an infection.  He told us they put him back on the oscillator, which we could hear going, and were going to give him a paralytic.  Basically, he was back to the same care he received the first days of his life.  Doc said his swelling will come back and we just have to wait to see what the oscillator does for him.  They also increased his dopamine to the maximum to help raise his blood pressure.  They said if his blood pressure could come back up, then everything else should fall back into place.
    Craig contacted our families when Riley became critical and within a few hours we had several family members in the waiting room there to support us.  This was a great comfort.  Craig and I prayed with all of them at separate times.  We have a strong christian family and we know our family is only becoming stronger in Christ, we hope you are too.  Now is the time to grow your relationship with God, not tomorrow or the day after.  It will only help you.  He will give you comfort, peace, love, everything you need.  I know I've said this before, but I could not get through this without God.  I receive my strength from him.
     Craig and I did not want to leave the hospital Saturday night and the nurses were kind enough to find us an open room in the hospital so we could be close.  We stayed at his bedside until around 2 am then went to the room.  We woke up in the morning and went back to see him.  His vitals were slowly increasing.  Since then, he has fought hard and his vitals are now back to where they should be.  His urine output is increasing as well, which will help him get rid of the fluid that has built up again.  It's hard to see his swelling increase instead of decreasing like it was, but we will trust God that this is all in his plan and he is taking care of Riley. 
     We thank all of the prayer warriors who prayed their hearts out these past few days for our little man, God really does listen and answers prayers.  I will leave you with a verse my Aunt Tess sent me yesterday.  It reminds me to always turn to God.

⁷ “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. (Matthew 7:7, NIV)

     I will be asking, seeking, and knocking always.