Peace and Healing

     Riley is continuing to do well, his blood gases are coming back with good numbers so they are continuing to lower his oxygen and some settings on the oscillator.  The chest pump was turned to water seal yesterday about this time and his xrays are still showing no signs of a return of the pneumothorax so that's great.  We pray that the pneumo will not return and they can remove his chest tube when he's ready.  We constantly pray that God will guide his doctors and nurses so they can make the right decisions for his care. 
     Over the past week it's really starting to set in that Craig and I did not get to experience Riley's birth.  I was under general anesthesia so Craig was not allowed in the room.  I always imagined being in a delivery room with Craig holding my hand and the doctor telling me to push then hearing my son cry for the first time.  Basically, what you see on tv.  This is hard to let go.  To be honest, I feel cheated out of the experience.  I have been praying a lot for God to take these negative feelings from me and give me peace about the situation.  I also think that this is a cause for my milk not coming in as quickly as others.  I don't have the memory of giving birth so it's like my body knows the baby is outside of me now, but my mind can't catch up with this idea.  When I was in ICU, I remember thinking...I'm not pregnant anymore and I have no idea where my baby is or what he looks like.  This was really difficult to fathom.  I will just keep praying for God to give me peace and understanding.
     My Aunt Jennifer sent this pic and verse in an email and I am going to share it with you.  I gives me comfort to know God is protecting us always and we can reach out to him in the midst of our troubled times for protection.  He definitely is covering Riley with his wings.

  

Reminds me of Psalm 91:4, He will cover you with his feathers.  He will shelter you with his wings.  His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

There is absolutely nothing to fear about tomorrow; for God is already there.